I ran out of subway ads to ridicule. But I didn’t run out of Jeremy Lins to praise. This is “Winning With Lin”. It’s set to an old Bon Jovi power ballad. Enjoy the hell out of it.

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Due to the strange laws of Tumblr, I can’t seem to follow anyone from my new blog, tonyatlasshrugged.tumblr.com, unless they follow it, and then I follow them back from it. All of which is just a convoluted way of saying: check out the new blog, and I will follow you from it! Or else it will be lonely, like the weirdly abandoned purse in the picture above.

I have no idea how to announce a new tumblr

But while I’m waiting for more subway ads to appear that aren’t the exact same subway ads, I started one — stories about Dallas or inspired by Dallas, one a day, ‘til I reach 50. Check it out at tonyatlasshrugged.com.

Pat, I’d like to buy a hyphen please.

After 2000 years, the Christians still hadn’t learned that giving out free Bibles will leave you begging for alms.

If you like Pina Coladas
Ribs chicken and steaks
If you’re not into Blue Smoke
If you like to get baked
If you love things that mention Dallas
And aren’t afraid of date-rape
I’m the restaurant you’ve looked for
Come to Queens and escape

Shit I’m bored. I knew I should have gone to Trinidad.

Jake S. asks, “Is he the lawyer, the clinic or the lead poisoned child?”

The tragic answer is that he’s the lead-poisoned child. The heartwarming silver lining is that as of yet no one’s bought the movie rights.

For the rest of his life, Billy will be plagued by the misapprehension that “multi” means “one”. Unless he’s actually playing video games *and* sending a very important text despite there being no signal underground, or he considers “pretending to ignore a young Hayden Panettierre” a task, in which case, damn straight he’s performing two or more difficult or tedious undertakings.

Kid, you attend this stupid technical college, and you’ll have no action for fifty million miles, and your day’ll consist of suckin’ dust and watchin’ restricted flicks in the rec room. Stick with me. I’ll get your dick wet.